You might also like:

Chris Arthur struggles with writing his own bio blurb, and criticises the literary bragging that seems to be required, wondering whether he could be more original than the usual claims of ‘award-winning’, ‘critically acclaimed’ and 'internationally recognised.'
‘I realise that you are spending months inside the tie cupboard, selecting the aeroplane ties to be dispatched to retired Wing Commanders and I acknowledge your quiet despair. But rest assured, you will progress.’